Wednesday, October 13, 2010
I sit here and wonder what I did that was so bad? Why am I the one that got this disease? Who did I hurt so bad that I was branded with this life? Then I think why not me, what the hell is so special about me. I kept beating myself up when I first started dialysis I kept saying "why me" but to be honest there is no reason that someone else should have to do dialysis instead of me. I always say if God brings you to it he knows you can get through it, but what if I can't? Is he sure that I am strong enough mentally. I have seen many people at the dialysis center and in my eyes they are so much stronger, they go 3 times a week and sit there for like 5 or 6 hours...that is patience. It takes me about 30 mins and I feel like I am crawling out of my skin. It's just sad to me that for so long I thought I did something to deserve this when really that is not how it goes. We all get dealt the hand we're given and we need to play it til it is over no matter how long or short it is.
Posted by Kristin at 9:04 AM