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I need an out sometimes and so I created this blog.

Monday, October 11, 2010

First time

This is my first time writing on my blog. I might as well start off by saying thank you to my cousin Meghan for suggesting this. Every day I wake up at 5am to start dialysis then 4 hours later at 10am I do it again 6 hours later at 4pm I do it again last time 4 hours later at 9pm I do it again. As you can see it is very repetitive. I can't stand it...To be honest I didn't think it would be this bad but it just seems like every day is getting harder and harder. I feel like I am in a boxing match and I am getting my ass kicked and I can't get up. I keep trying to stay positive but since Meghan got denied to be my donor I just feel hopeless and it's not her fault I would not want her to jeoperdize her health for mine. I just really thought she would be the one. Now my dad is being tested and I am trying so hard not to get my hopes up because I don't want to feel that blow again. I am just so tired, tired of stopping and going,tired of not getting enough rest, Im tired of fighting this fight that feels never ending and I sound so pathetic because I just started dialysis 5 months ago...

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