Monday, November 15, 2010
It has been a couple days since I have been on the blog. I really have not been taking my Dad's denial very well. I have actually been taking it pretty bad. I understand that paired donation is a wonderful alternative but I just hate dialysis. I keep trying to tell myself that it's not that bad but it sucks. They keep having me do a Quality of Life quiz at the dialysis center and it keeps coming back that I am not handling dialysis very well. But tell me how the hell am I suppose to handle this? I am fricken depressed. I really thought my dad would be my donor and I would be done with this. I cry every day and I get panic attack just thinking about it. I wish my parents were here right now I know they would be if I asked but I don't want them to know that this is just killing me inside. I feel so beat right now. I am hoping when my sister Lins gets here my spirits will change because she will be spending time with me and keeping my mind busy plus Meghan will be here in 10 days. I just need to try and pick myself up and stop being so sad because I can't change the outcome of the cross matching and my dad is calling them every other day to make sure they don't forget about us. I just hope it is soon I thought life was hard before...HA! It was a piece of cake I was just a drama queen. I am not saying life is so hard right now it is just different from before and more stressful but I still have hope. My dad is going to make someones dreams and wishes come true when he gives them life and there donor is going to give me my dreams and wishes when they give me life. That is the most precious gift anyone can ever give and receive.
Posted by Kristin at 5:57 PM