Thursday, March 17, 2011
Had clinic today was kinda rough. I have not been feeling very good lately been having cramping in my legs and feet,fluid overload, and just been beyond tired. As I was telling Dr. M he asked me do your hands shake? I said yes but what does that have to do with anything, he then told me that is not good all my symptoms are telling them I am not taking to dialysis. So next week I have to go in for a kt/v so they can see if what they think is true. Being on dialysis I always joke about "dying" because if I don't find humor in being sick I don't think mentally I can handle it but now I am scared what if dialysis isn't doing the job? I just don't get it....I just want this all to be a nightmare and go back to a "normal" life. I am just so tired and frustrated with feeling this way I want to feel good I want to have energy I want to be able to act my age. Yesterday I had fluid overload really bad my face was huge and I just felt really bad I called my mom and told her I really feel like I am dying and I tried to laugh it off afterwards but honestly I felt like I was I just didn't feel right at all. This is all just beginning to be too much to handle mentally and physically. People can think I am being a drama queen or a baby but until you go through your organs shutting down you have know idea how hard it really is.
Posted by Kristin at 2:51 PM